No One Way To Be A Man
Written by Ben Wilkoff
The Detoxing Man is Empathetic (beyond those who look and think like him) I think of empathy as a circle, within which by default are all of the people that I love. They are my family and friends. Most people expand this circle further to include all of the people we enjoyed going to school […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
The Detoxing Man is Active (in body and mind) I walk my youngest son to and from the bus stop nearly every day. We live in a neighborhood where all of the children gather just outside the entrance huddling in preparation for the bus. So, we leave our house a few minutes early every morning, […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
The Detoxing Man is Trusted (to root out injustice wherever it is found). I do not face oppression in my daily life. As a married white straight-passing gainfully employed able-bodied cisgendered American man who was born into a two-parent household, both of whom held advanced degrees, I know that I won the lottery of privilege. […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
The Detoxing Man is Connected (by shared experience, passion, and expression). I watched a lot of videos late at night during the COVID lockdowns of 2020. I did this on my own, coming to bed only after many hours of YouTube or TikTok. If time was meaningless during lockdown, then so too was I. I […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
The Detoxing Man is Present (in both actions and feelings). I used to wear my AirPods Pro around the house A LOT. I would wear them while doing anything even slightly mundane, whether that was doing the dishes each morning or vacuuming the spilled cat litter or folding the near-endless laundry. In fact, I wore […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
The Detoxing Man is Sincere (in word and deed). I have never been very funny. You can ask my wife who I have known for two full decades or my children who I have known for 16, 14 and 8 years respectively. And yet, humor is an essential part of my existence. It is one […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
The Detoxing Man is Attuned (to the needs of others and the needs of the moment). If you have ever played a guitar, you might know that you really only need one string to be on pitch in order to tune the whole guitar. When you get the low E string to resonate just right, […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
The Detoxing Man is Kind (of Heart and Mind) When I say he is kind of heart, I mean that he feels empathy toward others as he goes out into the world, leading with the heart on his sleeve, unafraid to use what he feels to take actions that benefit more than just his own […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
My family and I watched the Monday Night Football game together, as we often do. I was also playing risk with my youngest son, trying to finish up the seemingly never-ending board game before I missed missed most of the NFL action. However, this distraction made what happened on the field with 5:58 to go […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
As we strive to be better men in our everyday lives, it is important to know what “better” means. And, in an attempt at an initial definition for what it means to commit to Detoxing your Masculinity, we are staking our claim to a particular identity. This identity is expansive and fully embraces our motto […]
