Welcome to


An online community dedicated to the elimination of toxic behavior within ourselves, our relationships and the wider world.

The Masculinity Detox

A Space for Healthy, Mindful, and Authentic Expressions of Masculinity.

The Alpha Male is a myth. Suppressing our emotions can literally shorten our life-spans. When we hold each other to a single form of repressive manhood we feel alienation, depression, and an increased likelihood of self-harm.


But, what is the alternative? Perhaps, it is a space where we can learn, practice, and discuss issues like emotional availability, violence prevention, and empathy within a harassment-free environment. Our ultimate goal should be to build a world where men are not boxed in by traditional definitions of masculinity, but rather are free to explore more complex and authentic versions of themselves. 


The Masculinity Detox is an inclusive space focused on deconstructing the harmful notions of what it means to be “a real man”  and supporting one another in creating deep and lasting connections that sustain life.


Our intention is to be as human as possible within this platform. So, we take the creation and tending of our community very seriously. Trolls are not welcome, but emotionally messy human beings certainly are.


There are important topics to discuss, members to connect with, “detox quests” to embark upon, and badges to earn. It is our hope that you never lack for positive ways to engage within the community or ways in which you can contribute to someone else’s learning.


Because rigidly prescriptive masculinity does not only impact Cis-Het white men, we believe that our community must include all voices, including people of color, women, non-binary individuals, as well as members of the LGBTQIA+ community.

About The Masculinity Detox

We Believe:

  1. Men crave connection (not merely competition)
  2. Father is a verb (you can enact daily)
  3. Feelings aren’t fatal (so, it is important that we understand them and feel them)
  4. “Real Men” dismantle systemic oppression
  5. Vulnerability and empathy are our true sources of strength and courage.
  6. Mental Health is not optional
  7. Work is not a sufficient Identity
  8. Our bodies and minds are lovable and capable, just as they are.
  9. All Masculinity is performance (so, we can choose to perform better)
  10. We are responsible for all of our actions and accountable to our loved ones for them.
  11. There is no one one way to “be a man.”
  12. Asking for help is a sign of maturity.

Our Community

We are proud of our safe and supportive environment.

The public internet is seemingly filled with nothing but trolls, bullies, and more than enough racism to make you want to log off forever. Fortunately, our platform is built from the ground up to keep each of these at bay.

By learning from other harassment-free communities that have come before (Geek FeminismThe National Guild for Community Arts EducationBuy Nothing, and Community.club to name a few), we have forged our own Community Agreement that helps keep our members safe.


Our community is built upon trust, for one another and for the platform itself. And, when we truly listen to one another, we find that it is all too easy to interact in ways that contribute to an open, welcoming, diverse, and inclusive community.

The Masculinity Detox Events

Join Events and Detox Challenges Every Month!

Emotion is the currency of connection. Therefore, we express our emotions and forge our connections through shared experience, even if those experiences are mediated by a keyboard or a screen.

Every month within The Masculinity Detox community, we launch new events, collaboration challenges, and discussion topics. You can take part in as many or as few as you like! 

You can register for any of the upcoming events below:  

No events

The Masculinity Detox Newsletter

Subscribe to "Little Tox"

Even if you aren’t ready to dive in head first to the community and take advantage of all that it offers, you might be interested in our weekly newsletter filled with:

  • Thought-provoking portrayals of masculinity in pop culture and social media.
  • Gender equity news and important updates from around the world.
  • Highlights from within The Masculinity Detox community.
  • Notification of upcoming events and social actions in which to take part.

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The Masculinity Detox Community

Why do we need a Detox?

As the premier space to connect with others who believe there is No One Way To Be a Man, who seek to eliminate toxic behavior, or who simply want to engage in the work of becoming a better self, our features make it easy to do just that:

Community Connections

Find new people within the community by diving into fun self-reflection questions within our personalized profile.

Quests and Badges

You should be rewarded for doing the deep personal work it takes to dismantle systems of oppression. Visible recognition of that work is a great place to start!

Non-toxic Forums

Wouldn’t it be great to have honest discussions in a safe environment? Our platform is a harassment-free environment where we strive for understanding rather than “winning arguments.”

Customize Your Experience

You decide what others can see about you. You can share photos and posts on your own profile, within private groups, or in the open forums. You decide the level of privacy you are most comfortable with!

24-hour Access

We have built the platform to allow for connections across time-zones and to enable anytime-anywhere learning. If you would prefer to turn on dark-mode at night, you can do that too!

Private Groups

You can start groups based upon location, areas of interest, or just to have a private area for your closest connections. We have built the platform to allow for even the toughest conversations to be safe.

The Masculinity Detox Community

Asked Questions

We know that some of you may have lots of questions about the community, how it works, and what you can and cannot do, so here’s a list of the most common questions we get asked:


If you have any further questions, just send us an email to support@masculinitydetox.org

You can register right here! Go ahead and get started with building your profile, connecting with others, and joining in on the many open discussions in our forums and groups.

This community is open to anyone who does not wish to do harm to its members or to the pursuit of a better masculinity. The Official TMD Community Agreement can be found here, and was heavily inspired  by these fine peer communities:  Geek Feminism, The National Guild for Community Arts EducationBuy Nothing, and Community.club.

Basic membership is and will always be free! However, if you want to help pay for server and other administration costs, you can become a contributing member (1 time) or sustaining member (monthly).

Of course! The best way to ensure the community thrives is to invite others to join.

Ben Wilkoff had the original idea, but his wife and kids helped a lot. 

Nope. We just want it to work better for everyone and we think the best way to do that is to create an inclusive place for folks to talk about it.

Join Our Community

Choose Your Membership:




Regular members of The Masculinity Detox can engage in discussions, post ideas, and attend monthly meetings with other members. This is the best way to start learning with other members of the community!


Sustaining Member

$5.00 per Month.

If you are interested in helping to support The Masculinity Detox with a monthly contribution that will go toward server and administration costs, this is the membership for you! Basic membership will always be free, but becoming a Sustaining Member helps to ensure that the TMD community will be here whenever you need it.


Contributing Member

$25.00 now.

If you would like to contribute to The Masculinity Detox community but do not want to commit to a monthly amount, please consider a single contribution to keep our community up and running. The full amount of your contribution will go toward the server and administration costs of the platform. Just like our regular member status, the Contributing Member status never expires. You will always be known for your contribution to TMD!