No One Way To Be A Man
Written by Steven Coriell Jr.
Recently, an encounter set off some self reflection in me. Really, it’s not just this specific interaction, but rather a multitude of events that has pushed me to deeply examine the person I once was. I have been carrying an uncomfortable amount of shame from my past self, I’ve noticed it comes up whenever I […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
One of the primary practices of The Detoxing Man is being able to name and express feelings as they happen. However, as many men struggle mightily in doing this, myself included, I have created a way to “practice” this behavior. I call it Feeling Finding, and it is actually an easy way for anyone to […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
For our second song in this series, I have chosen one of my all-time favorites, Twin Size Mattress by The Front Bottoms. In it, the protagonist stumbles his way toward being a good friend as he “contributes to the chaos” within his own life. The song shows how complex it is to find a positive […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
Jule Kim introduces a concrete metaphor comparing emotional intelligence to a set of markers. She says that some people only have 3 markers to work with, only three shades with which to express or reciprocate emotions. Others have far more, a full spectrum of colorful emotions with which to experience life. I really appreciate the […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
There is something universal about “pushing others away” when things get to hard, emotionally or otherwise. We often find it hard to fully embody our feelings without lashing out at others. We want others to reject us first so that we don’t have to look inward to find out what is really going on. We […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
Hulk and Thor, the raging and smoldering fire of the MCU do not have too many opportunities to share their feelings as they tend to be used as the “final solution” to many of the problems facing the people of earth and realms beyond. And yet, one such heartfelt moment is worth paying attention to. […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
The Detoxing Man is Engaged (by courageous acts of self-discovery) I met my wife in the cafeteria of a newly constructed dorm on the University of Denver campus in the late summer of 2002. I overheard her and her friends asking about vegetarian options, and I made a mental note about it as I paid […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
The Detoxing Man is Empathetic (beyond those who look and think like him) I think of empathy as a circle, within which by default are all of the people that I love. They are my family and friends. Most people expand this circle further to include all of the people we enjoyed going to school […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
The Detoxing Man is Kind (of Heart and Mind) When I say he is kind of heart, I mean that he feels empathy toward others as he goes out into the world, leading with the heart on his sleeve, unafraid to use what he feels to take actions that benefit more than just his own […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
My family and I watched the Monday Night Football game together, as we often do. I was also playing risk with my youngest son, trying to finish up the seemingly never-ending board game before I missed missed most of the NFL action. However, this distraction made what happened on the field with 5:58 to go […]
