One of the primary practices of The Detoxing Man is being able to name and express feelings as they happen. However, as many men struggle mightily in doing this, myself included, I have created a way to “practice” this behavior. I call it Feeling Finding, and it is actually an easy way for anyone to better understand their emotions.
This custom TikTok effect that I’ve created will randomly give you one of 30 different “feeling words.” All you have to do is respond to the word with a story of one time in your past that reminds you of this word. You may have felt lonely after a breakup or when you left for college. You may have felt satisfied after a particularly wonderful conversation with your partner or after being promoted. Whatever the memory is, your job is to retell it, and in doing so, relive it, placing yourself (and us) back into that moment as much as possible. This will allow you to approximate what feeling this word was like, which will in turn help you to identify whenever it comes up for you again in the future.
The goal is to build a library of feelings for yourself, making them something you can experience as a normal part of your life rather than as something you avoid because it is somehow easier or better not to feel.
Here is my, ever-growing, personal library of Feelings that I have Found: