No One Way To Be A Man
Written by Ben Wilkoff
As we strive to be better men in our everyday lives, it is important to know what “better” means. And, in an attempt at an initial definition for what it means to commit to Detoxing your Masculinity, we are staking our claim to a particular identity. This identity is expansive and fully embraces our motto […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
I drink or get high because I am not in touch with my emotions. Most of the time I can only feel attached to them when some part of me has lowered inhibitions and lets me connect to what I’m feeling. It is also why it’s so hard to be sober, sometimes. Not because I […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
You know that thing where you believe you are doing a good job of parenting because you remember early in the morning to schedule a doctor’s appointment for your oldest son to get a strep test because that is when they release the same-day appointments, but when you go to take him to the appointment, […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
You know that thing where you take your car in because one tire keeps losing air rapidly and you are told that because of an enormous screw in your right front tread that you will need a new set of four and because your wife cares for and is far more knowledgeable about cars than […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
You know that thing where you want to buy something just for yourself, but you really don’t want to talk with your partner about it because you have convinced yourself that there doesn’t need to be a conversation about every little thing we buy, even though you know that it should be a conversation because […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
You know that thing where your 9 year old son sees the free sample of the newspaper that they left on your driveway one Sunday morning and asks you why there are graphic novels in it. And for a second you don’t realize what he means, but then it dawns on you that he has […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
You know that thing where you have a whole leftover container of rice that has just been sitting in the fridge for the better part of a week and you are trying to decide if it can go down the disposal or should get put into the trash. Yeah, when that happens, put the rice […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
You know that thing where you notice that haven’t spoken to anyone who is not your partner or children for weeks at a time and you just need some human contact that isn’t related to you, so you go into the messages on your phone and keep on scrolling until you find the name of […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
In my visit to San Fransisco last month, I stayed with a friend that I have known for nearly 30 years. We grew up together in a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio and he is one of only two people that I still regularly talk to from my home town. There is a reason for this. […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
I am a huge fan of the work that Laura Danger does on TikTok to help us all to eliminate toxic behavior in the form of Weaponized Incompetence, where (mostly) men use their insufficient skill at emotional labor, domestic labor, or any other perceived “women’s work” in order to justify their actions. I watch many […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
The older I get, the more I believe in superpowers. Not the seeing through walls or spider-sense ones we see in the MCU or in within the local comic shop. Rather, I believe in super powers that are innate to humanity. I see superhuman feats so regularly that they cannot be denied. Fortunately, these powers […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
You can feel progress, movement, momentum. It is hard to generate, but it is not hard to feel. You can feel its absence too. The subtle giving up Working on escape routes rather than a way forward It is when you stop building things and instead settle for crumbling structures and unswept corners It’s when […]
Written by Ben Wilkoff
The great diversity of humanity is astounding. I feel so ridiculously lucky to observe it and take part in it. I see tattoos that crisscross others bodies I see canes and other modes of support. I see sandals and hiking boots and tennis shoes and orthopedics, stylish, expensive and barely holding together. I see long […]
