The Masculinity Detox


The Masculinity Detox


Identity - February 22, 2023

Purposeful (even if only in discovering his purpose)

The Detoxing Man is Purposeful (even if only in discovering his purpose)

There is something that happens when I deeply listen. It could be my wife telling me about her being unhappy, a friend relaying a story from years past, or even a movie character giving a monologue. When I listen so deeply that I get lost in the waters of those words, that I no longer can identify myself as I let it wash over me and bathe me in their truth, that is when I feel my humanity most.

These moments of coming face-to-face with someone else’s identity, with someone’s unvarnished self are the ones that I live for. It is what I strive to find within any given day, in between the moments of mundane drama within my family or outside in the world at large. I am leaning in to find that true moment shared, questing after it with my whole being, even if I forget that I am doing it.

One such moment happened yesterday. My oldest son interrupted me reading to my youngest while he was taking a bath and asked if I would like to record his “1 day on T video.” If you are familiar with the format, it is start of collecting intimate moments of reflection for how long it takes for the voice to drop and the facial features to change. And he asked me to take the video, his father of 16 years. I was honored and I was deeply grateful.

The words were sweet and as they covered me in a syrupy warmth, and I could do nothing but say yes. It was an invitation to be human with my son, and perhaps an invitation to many more days of it too. As he spoke his manhood into being, claiming an identity that has always been his for the asking, he and I were connected within the moment, as I listened to my son be his truest self.

While this may not seem like a broad purpose, or one particularly meant to change the world. It is enough for me. My purpose is to be human. With others and with myself. And as I seek to do good in this life, to fight injustice, or to merely support others, I know that those small moments of connection of truly listen to others will be enough to see me through.

@themasculinitydetox “My Purpose is to be human. With others and with myself.” The Detoxing Man is Purposeful (even if only in discovering his purpose) – 30 of 30! How can we find purpose when the rest of our life is so mundane? #purpose #toxicmasculinity #positivemasculinity #masculinitydetox #love #fatherhood #trans #testosterone #1dayont #heartonmysleeve #patriarchy #equity #trust #listening #listen ♬ original sound – The Masculinity Detox