The Masculinity Detox


The Masculinity Detox


Community Agreement

All community members will adhere to the following agreements.

It is not an agreement of words, but of actions.

And you, dear TMD community member, will act accordingly.

The Masculinity Detox (TMD) community is dedicated to providing a harassment-free experience for everyone, regardless of age, body size, visible or invisible disability, ethnicity, sex characteristics, gender identity and expression, level of experience, education, socio-economic status, nationality, personal appearance, race, caste, color, religion, or sexual identity and orientation. We do not tolerate harassment of members in any form.

Instead, our members will practice community by:

  • Being present. Honor your interest in doing the deep work of unpacking masculinity. Balance this with your own capacity and wellness.
  • Be brave, vulnerable, open & authentic. Model this for everyone. In this way, we will move together in the spirit of trust and growth.
  • Hold grace for yourself and others. Invite curiosity. Mistakes help us all grow. While unlearning and deconstruction is uncomfortable, changing your mind can be a beautiful opportunity!
  • Deepen your tolerance for complexity. We don’t & won’t have all of the answers. Hold and honor the questions that reveal themselves.

We hold each person who participates in this community responsible for creating an environment in which diverse individuals can share, collaborate and interact in a positive and affirming way. Examples of behavior that contributes to creating this sort of environment include:

  • Using welcoming and inclusive language
  • Being respectful of differing viewpoints and experiences
  • Focusing on what is best for the overall community
  • Showing empathy towards other community members
  • Treating others as they would like to be treated
  • Being mindful not to monopolize discussions, creating space for others to speak and share (when in doubt, utilize a progressive stack formatted discussion to include more submerged, discounted, or otherwise excluded voices)
  • Accepting that each person has the right to choose for themselves what they make of and from the ideas shared in this community
  • Taking what works for you and allowing others the same freedom
  • Remembering that there are many paths forward for your understanding of masculinity.

In order to better identify Harrassment within our community, it is important to notice and name it where and when it occurs. For our purposes, Harrassment would include (but is not limited to) any of the following:

  • Offensive comments related to any of the “protected classes” outlined above.
  • Unwelcome comments regarding a person’s lifestyle choices and practices, including those related to food, health, parenting, drugs, and employment.
  • Deliberate misgendering or use of ‘dead’ or rejected names
  • Gratuitous or off-topic sexual images or behavior  in spaces where they’re not appropriate
  • Threats of violence
  • Incitement of violence towards any individual, including encouraging a person to commit suicide or to engage in self-harm
  • Deliberate intimidation
  • Stalking or following
  • Harassing photography or recording, including logging online activity for harassment purposes
  • Sustained disruption of discussion
  • Unwelcome sexual attention
  • Pattern of inappropriate social contact, such as requesting/assuming inappropriate levels of intimacy with others
  • Continued one-on-one communication after requests to cease
  • Deliberate “outing” of any aspect of a person’s identity without their consent except as necessary to protect other TMD members or other vulnerable people from intentional abuse
  • Publication of non-harassing private communication

The Masculinity Detox community prioritizes marginalized people’s safety over privileged people’s comfort.

Enforcement Policy

Community members who are asked to stop any harassing behavior are expected to comply immediately. If they do not stop the stated behavior, they will be met with the removal from the community. Additionally, if their behavior is deemed unacceptable or they use our community for illegal activities, they will be immediately removed from the community.

Reporting Guidelines

If you find someone in violation of our TMD Community Agreement, please either DM @bhwilkoff or send an email to Where possible, please include a direct link to the violation and/or a screenshot.